I spent the last few days summarizing the emotional crashes in my life. I talked about the one that happened when my work project hit. Then I went on to point out other crashes: the one when the pirate ship left me, the one when the girl I thought was going to be The Girl left & the common enemy between me & the OldOld Man.
Time for one more crash.
My first emotional crash started when I was a Freshmen in college and finally happened just short of my exodus from churchin’ school. I held on for as long as I did because
- I’m an idiot
- I’m stubborn
- I met a girl
She wasn’t just any girl.
She’s the kind of girl you can write about for the rest of your life, even if you never see her again. She’s the kind of girl that makes you question whether or not being with your soul mate is as important as the impact they have on your life – even it’s for a brief moment in time.
Somewhere between soul mate & muse.
I walked the crash off for two years in a parking lot workin’ for the boat out in Duneland.
Why won’t I say more?
It’s the stuff of Books of Blues. I’ll talk about them in fiction and will let the stories speak for themselves. Part of the reason is privacy. Part of the reason is because, for some of it, if I say it’s, ‘fiction,’ then I don’t technically call anyone out. I’ll let others decide that.
Sometimes you have to crash.
Forest fires purge sick trees. Hurricanes stir up the ecosystem. Rivers are but the purging of excess water so other pieces of land can use it to keep healthy.
Life needs a clean flush once in awhile.
So does the body.
And if you perceive these to be but moments of weaknesses, then you’re an easy mark. I’m just tellin’ you now.
When I’m reacquainted with my moxie.
I tear people apart who think strength is about control.
Because sometimes I’m thinkin’ ‘bout the blues.
Strength is about letting go.
And being able to accept the consequences.