I’m good at being patient because I’m so horrible at it that I have to think, consciously think about it and like a rushing wind the days go by.
I’m hoping the days go by right now.
There isn’t a part of my life right now that isn’t being re-built from the ground up, again. It should be a beautiful time but I’m struggling to enjoy it because of my impatience. I’ve been through this building phase before. It’s not as fun the second time around. Or the third. Whichever time it is. The joy is out of it. I’m just ready for it to begin maturing like it should have before the unthinkable tore Project 01 apart.
This probably means that I’m mistranslating the ancient proverb, “this, too, shall pass,” that was featured prominently in A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. I don’t think it was intended to be meant as a distraction as I’m using it so much as much as a way of staying hopeful – as hopeful as Buddhism gets. Either way, I consciously remind myself of it every day. Maybe I’ll tattoo them on my forearms like The Boon Dock Saints tattoos my buddy got.
One arm will say, Enter zen from there, and the other will say, This, too, shall pass.
All the same, I know the building phase will pass and eventually the fruits of the labor will be further enjoyed. But it won’t get to those phases if I don’t get the building done first. Ain’t no way around it. I’ve tried. It just pisses collaborators off and confuses the rest. And everything sours.
That being said, Project 01 is being put to rest. The dirt is being spread over the coffin. Project 02 is beginning to mature and the attention is being focused on Project 03. The Wolf has done more than his fair share. It’s time for me to do the rest.
And remember that the moments are passing as I labor.
Breathe, Finn. This, too, shall pass.