There was a long, long stretch of time where TV shows kept me comfortable when working. It sounds weird, but after having had 100 people on chat at a time from people who shared the same company email domain as I had, I got used to all the voices in my ear. Since they’ve been gone, I’ll feel disconnected from the hive without chronic checking of social media and Chicago sports sites. And though those days are long gone, when we had the chat, it sometimes felt like I had my own personal Jane – the voice of the internet.

It’s good to have the voice of the Internet in one’s ear – at times.

Jane was an artificial sentient being who befriended Ender in the book Speaker for the Dead, the 2nd book in the Ender’s Game series.

Yeah, the Ender’s Game that’s coming to theatres on November 2nd, 2013.

Here’s to hoping it does the book justice at all, but about Jane & the 2nd book…

Ender and Jane communicated through a jewel-like earring Ender wore during his travels. For fear of spoilers, the travels took him a couple years of his life at a time to complete, but given the speed he traveled, the distance he had to go and Einstein’s theory of relativity, everybody Ender had ever known will be dead and gone by the time he gets back to earth – if he ever went back again.

Working in rooms by yourself can start to feel so frightening isolated.

They call it #FOMO: the Fear of Missing Out.

As much as I love to have time to go my own way, and as much as I have Bake and a couple friends on social media I talk to, the more we venture on our own, the more it starts to feel like everyone else is fading away from me.

It’s weird, too, because I’ve turned talking on the phone into a game with myself:

“how fast can I get off the phone?”

Because I love keeping the room unfettered from outside influences unless I let them in.

But, still, feeling a little connection to the technological progress of the world is needed. I stress little.

So I used to plow through TV series on Netflix and whatnot to just hear another voice in my ear. I don’t like podcasts because I can’t pay attention to them without losing focus. There ain’t but three blogs that really challenge me in SEO, and the coding tutorials I can’t listen to while I work or, there comes that word again – distraction.

I think multi-tasking is only for mind-numbing activities.

But team BakedFinn’s progress on Project 03 has become so exciting.

It’s starting to feel like we’re allow to start coming out of hibernation or so. The closer we get to getting towards the end of phase one, the more I start to feel like we’re connecting with the world.

With our name on it.

On our own terms.

We just need a few more things to go right for a little while longer and if all goes well we’ll be on our way.

The closer we get, the more I feel that hive connection again.

With that connected feeling, the less I need to have the comfort vices to keep me from panicking. I’m function more and more. I can go for long periods of time without having to see if I’m missing out on anything…I’m overcoming that #FOMO.

And the less the television is on.

I don’t care how most of the stories on television ends anymore. To me, how my life ends has become more important, again. I don’t fear I’m missing out on something important that keeps me feeling more like a typical American. My trivia skills will continue to plummet, but if that’s the worse of diving deeper into the deep end of Project 03, then I’m willing to make the trade.

Unless it’s Chicago sports or my 5 favorite running TV shows:

  1. Doctor Who
  2. Justified
  3. Sons of Anarchy
  4. Supernatural
  5. Castle

(with Archer on the outside looking in, for now), I really don’t care anymore. It’s almost scary to say. I’m afraid I’ll connect even less to family and some friends but it’s the road we have to take.

Project 03 has become my Jane.

So long as I remember that lactose intolerant meds only work until the end of the meal and if I go eat cheese sticks a couple hours later I need another dose, I’ll have much better days – gawddamn today was painful.

Anyone else run into these feeling connected / #FOMO issues?

photo credit:  Mannia & Titta via Flickr

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