As I’ve purged continuously on here in the past year, I’ve been fighting back against my anxiety. It’s a predominant theme in my books of said blues. It’s a recurring battle. And my worst moments are the first ones of the day. Even on my best days my most difficult move of the day is the choice to get out of bed. I am constantly coming up with a rotisserie of tips, tricks and tactics to combat the issue.
Now, don’t get me wrong. If there’s an appointment or meeting or place I have to be – I shoot up like a rocket. It’s part of my instincts to be accommodating and other-focused. But when there isn’t a deadline – my need for security goes into overdrive. I’ve been getting better at knowing that The Wolf needs me to get up. In the past I’ve had a Ray of Sunshine sprinkling my morning with texts & phone calls but I need to be able to get up for me. There’s too many things I want to do and want to get done.
One of the tricks I’ve been working on lately is the on the concept of being conscious. As said in the book A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle.
“Become conscious of being conscious.”
The theory is that one of the things that separates humans from mammals is the ability to enter higher reasoning. Whereas most all the rest of the animal kingdom relies on instincts, humans have the capacity to be conscious of the moment. I say, “capacity,” because as pointed in the book – few seldom do. I’ve often made the joke that most people don’t live past the next 5 minutes and I know that joke probably stems from reality, but sarcasm aside I do it, too. Especially when I wake up in the morning.
Lately I’ve Been Focusing on Being Conscious of Being Conscious
I’ve been using the themes, “Enter Zen from there,” & “This, too, shall pass,” to remember who I am, what I’m doing, what I want to do & where I want to go. I put that on the message of my iPhone Alarms. I’ve written them on my arm. I tweet a reminder of the day with a hashtag #enterzenfromthere as a prayer to remember my place in the world.
And it’s helping
I’ve also been writing these posts not only to review the books and think out the arguments, but for the much needed-repetition, using the old sports habit of practicing how you’d like to play in the games.
And the days have been getting better
Like the rest of the rebuilding in my life, I’d like to see the finished product.
Happy Easter to everyone
If you take nothing else from the day, at least try to take a moment to think about what a kind moment for someone else could do for them. And maybe, just maybe, the world becomes a safer place. If nothing else, perhaps you become conscious for a moment. Altruism over.